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When hearts are beyond broken, just mearly specks of black smouldering ash scattered on the pavement to be mixed back in with every day dust again… When we feel a numb, deadness in our chest following the pain of every bright, beaming sensation of love that we were blessed to have felt turn itself inside out to become the exact opposite of itself – when there is no such thing as a ray of sunshine coming from that source ever again. Only a devastatingly real hell remains whenever we wish to visit that place again. We can relive certain happy times in our minds but only to be left to refocus and evaluate the reality that is actually left before us when we snap out of it, once again. Our worst nightmare is our reality. The worst case scenario, becomes the scenario. How many times can we slap ourselves in the face with a reality that was never meant to take shape before we lean to far over the edge and seal ourselves a new fate. This pain will never leave me, like you once said. Yet when you went the pain took your place and as long as I’m without you on this plane the pain will forever remain. Like the pain I gave you, your heart gave out when you finally couldn’t take it anymore. In your head you had to leave you weren’t debating anymore no love-no life. I would do anything to do things differently, to show you all of my love when you asked to see it, but no matter how intense it gets nothing fucking changes I can’t get you back I can’t fix anything this cold, evil reality remains and I have to just deal with it, when all I want is you back here with me back home with us where you belonged before it all went so horribly wrong…

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