, , , , , , , , ,

One of the major reasons I kept my parents in the dark with regards to my addiction is because I am an only child; their only child. I’m the only life that they brought into this world, and I sure as hell didn’t want them to believe that they failed in raising me; because I couldn’t have had a better upbringing… I just should have made better choices.

Ultimately, any reason that I had to not tell them my problem revolved solely around fear. Whether it was fear of disappointment, or fear of pain; without categorizing it it’s really all the same. They had become aware that there was something I was hiding and my secretiveness in itself began to really cause them pain. Hiding the truth caused us all pain. The three of us are very close and I had created a massive void between us by holding out on them. Finally admitting and explaining the truth lifted the majority of a huge weight off my shoulders, though unfortunately they too now bear the burden that I struggled with upon their shoulders as well. The uncertainty that surrounded their daughter has dissipated now, only to be replaced with concern… But that is O.K.
I have learnt well and truly now that the truth is always better than a lie, regardless of circumstances. Some people unfortunately can not handle the truth; but good, strong people seem to have the guts it takes to really digest it and therefore gain some understanding where it truly counts.